A is For...

We begin our Horror A to Z with a tale of mobs, murder, and molestation. In his film Axe, director Frederick Friedel introduces us to three gangsters who are awaiting the return of an associate in a city hotel room. The man has apparently crossed the other three, and they intend on taking revenge. Once the associate arrives, the gangsters get to work. They beat and eventually kill him. The two sadistic thugs laugh the whole incident off and decide that they should wait for the matter to blow over. The third, more sensitive, man has trouble reconciling his conscious with his actions.



The three men set out for the country, making a pit stop at a convenience store along the way. The thugs humiliate and terrorize the employees, all the while getting off on it. The third man once again feels guilt weighing him down, though he feels helpless to do anything.


Eventually, the men find a secluded farm house where a young girl, Lisa, cares for her paralyzed grandfather. Though Lisa is just a girl, she has lived a tough life that has matured her beyond her years. She spends her days killing chickens for food, and taking care of the small farm she lives on.

As soon as they arrive, the men begin unleashing hell upon Lisa. They force her to cook and clean after them, they mistreat her, and even sexually assault her. Drawing upon her animal slaughtering skills, Lisa avenges herself using the titular weapon on the men.

Axe is a low budget, no plot, gore film from the early 1970's. The characters presented here are overwhelmingly one dimensional (with the exception of the sensitive gangster.) The purpose of this film is simply to show blood and guts, with the after thought of entertaining an audience. I have to admit, they achieve these goals in spades. Axe is a brutal little film, to be sure. However, it is the epitome of the slasher genre. Though it's not as highly regarded as Last House on the Left, or I Spit On Your Grave, it's also not as graphically disturbing. You can watch this revenge story without feeling dirty afterwards.

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Thrill Me! A Tribute to Fred Dekker

There are many names that standout in the annals of the horror genre. You've got Argento, Hitchcock, Fulci, and Romero. There are tons of names that instantly bring to mind the classic films that you watch over and over again for Halloween. Today, however, we pay tribute to a name lost in the shuffle. It is one that has traditionally been overlooked and under utilized. His is a mind full of fun and fright, that desperately deserves another chance at stardom. Today, we pay homage to writer/director Fred Dekker.

Dekker grew up in San Francisco, where he spent his time reading comic books and watching old comedies and horror films. He devoted himself to the works of the Universal monsters, Abbot and Costello, and a slew of B rated pictures. Inspired by those movies, he applied to UCLA as a film student where he was rejected. He then applied to USC, where he was denied as well. He was finally admitted to UCLA as an English major, where he interjected himself into the film program.

During his time in college, Dekker decided to make a movie using his parent's Victorian house. He decided to put it to good use and develop a film that could be shot in the one location. His friend and classmate, Steve Wiley, wrote the script and Steve Miner directed.

House featured a a Vietnam veteran who has returned home to become a novelist. Having trouble writing his next book, Roger learns that he has inherited his aunt's Victorian house. He decides to hold himself up in the home while he completes his novel. As he writes, he begins to see and hear things. Gradually, he becomes aware that the house holds a presence that torments him. During his stay, Roger is nearly driven mad by the spirits.

Originally meant to be a true terror inducing film, House takes on a sort of comic surreal tone. There are scenes of gore and splatter, but there are also plenty of laughs. The film did well at the box office, and established Dekker as a credible member of the filmmaker community.

Determined to indulge himself in his true goal of directing, Dekker wrote his next film and attached himself as director. Night of the Creeps, as the film came to be called, would become one of the most entertaining, genre bending films ever released. It cemented Dekker's vision as a writer/director, and became one of the most unique movies of the decade.

For Creeps, Dekker wasn't convinced he would be able to direct a second film, so he decided to include homages to every genre he had grown up watching. The film begins in outer space, with a rogue alien running through a ship, holding a canister. The alien is pursued by others of his kind; they attempt to stop him? from stealing whatever is in the canister. With nowhere to run, the alien ejects the object out of an airlock. That canister just so happens to fall to a little planet called Earth.

On the planet, it is the 1950's. Sorority girls make themselves up in preparations for their hot dates that night. At this point, the picture is black and white. The camerawork mirrors drive in flicks of the time period, and the music is appropriate for the year. As a couple park their car in lover's lane, they hear a radio report about an escaped convict who is headed towards the area. The woman wants to go home, but her boyfriend decides to check out the meteor that has just landed nearby. Bad idea.

While the woman waits, a young police officer approaches the car to warn her about the killer. To her surprise, it's her former boyfriend. The two have an awkward exchange as his unrequited feelings are apparent. He leaves the woman in peace, only to be called back a short time later. He is horrified to find the killer hacking the woman into pieces. He kills the murderer and hides the body.

Flash forward to 30 years later. A couple of college nerds are attending their first party. They try to join a fraternity and are given the task to stealing a corpse. They poke around the science building and find a young man who has been cryogenically frozen. (Yep, it's the kid from the 50's.) They try to take the body, though it comes to life during the process. The kids take off running and leave the body to wander on its own.

Having discovered the alien canister, the 1950's guy was infected with creeping worms that bring turn people into zombies. He lurches through the college, infecting multiple people, and starting a small plague. The corpse even infects the hidden body of the mass murderer, which is conveniently buried under the dorm mother's house. Our young cop, now a bitter older detective, must help the nerds take on the fraternity of zombies that are attacking the town.

Night of the Creeps is one of those films that you can't believe was made. There is such a mixture of styles and events, that it doesn't seem possible that a studio could have greenlit the project. At times, it is apparent that this is a first time director's film. Mostly, though, it really hits the marks it aims for. Detective Cameron is one of the most memorable character's in recent history. He is a tough shit talker, haunted by the events of his past. He careens on the edge of justice and suicide throughout the entire film. He seems to understand something that no one around him does and it terrifies him. Not to mention, he's got the greatest catchphrase ever: "Thrill Me."

Though Creeps wasn't the biggest hit at the box office, it did well enough to allow Dekker to write and direct his next feature. Honing his story down to one genre this time, Dekker takes inspiration from one of his favorite films: Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Monster Squad tells the story of a group of elementary and junior high kids who are fascinated with the paranormal. They have formed a club in their tree house where they discuss various monsters and creatures of the night. Their teachers dismiss them, the other kids bully them, and their parents are too busy fighting to pay them much attention. Little do they know, the kids are on to something.

On the other side of town, Dracula and friends are preparing to steal a magical amulet which has been hidden away for centuries. If they are successful, they will rule the Earth in darkness forever. The one thing they are missing is Van Helsing's diary, which now resides with the Monster Squad.

The kids soon learn of Dracula's plan and recruit cool kid Rudy, creepy German guy, and even Frankenstein's monster to help them defeat the evil creatures. The film culminates in a monster bash in the town square.

Monster Squad was the coolest film I had ever seen when I was young. Growing up, I had watched my share of horror films and sympathized with the kids in the movie. I liked the same things they did, talked the same way they did (sorry Mom!), and would have loved to have gone on the same adventure. My friends and I watched it every time it was on cable, and when we were older, it became almost a legendary tale.

For years, the only way you could see Creeps or Squad was on old VHS tapes or home recordings. It seemed that Dekker's career had taken a down turn, and these films had been forgotten. In deed, Fred's last big film was a Robocop sequel which halted the franchise. For the next decade, Dekker was relegated to a few episodes of Tales from the Crypt and Star Trek: Enterprise.

Though it seemed unlikely for either a new Dekker film, or even a DVD release of his older ones, something was brewing behind the scenes. Kids that once watched these movies on their parents' televisions had grown up to work in the film industry. They turned their attention onto the forgotten flicks of the 1980's and something magical happened. Both Night of the Creeps and Monster Squad were given full fledged special edition treatment on DVD and Blu-Ray.

Dekker's films were restored in high definition with fantastic image and sound quality. Gone were the third generation VHS copies, or burned bootleg DVD-Rs. Fans could finally see the movies in their original widescreen glory. As if that wasn't enough, the producers even tracked down cast and crew members for documentaries on each film. Each runs a at least an hour each, and provides actual insight into the making of each picture. (Rather than those 20 minute promotional junkets many discs feature.) It seems as if Dekker was finally getting the credit he deserved.

Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that there is a new Fred Dekker film on the horizon. It's a shame that these DVD releases haven't caused more executives to take notice and give him a second chance. Dekker was one of the most visionary directors of his time. Perhaps the material and genre he chose to work in has limited his credibility. With the resurgence of interest in the 1980's, as well as the success of similar writer/directors as Joss Whedon, it would seem that a Fred Dekker resurrection should be in the works.
If it never happens, at least we have Night of the Creeps and Monster Squad to thrill us.

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T is For...

"As you watch the screen, your heart begins to beat faster. There's a fluttering in the pit of your stomach. Your throat is dry. Your palms are damp. Suddenly a chill runs down your spine. You clutch the person next to you. You tell yourself 'It's only a movie.' But, sooner or later, it's time to go home..."

So begins the opening narration to a fun little film nearly lost to the sands of time. If you are old enough to remember music, you are probably familiar with the "Greatest Hits" albums. Normally, when a band wanted to make extra money (or get out of a contract) they released all their biggest hits on one disc. Terror in the Aisles is sort of the scary movie version of that.

Released in 1984, the film collects sequences from numerous popular horror films of the time. There are clips from Halloween 1 and 2, some Friday the 13th's, Jaws, some Cronenberg, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and dozens of other films. The segments are narrated by Donald Pleasence and Nancy Allen. They sit in a fake movie theater, filled with other audience members, and discuss the various reasons for people to enjoy the films.

At first, the concept may seem completely ridiculous. What's the point of watching a string of clips sewn together, eh? What really makes the film work is the editing. Key sequences from several films will be tied together as an example of a particular horror theme. The sequences are then edited together to increase the flow of suspense and build tension. For example, Pleasence discusses unearthly evil infiltrating our bodies. Clips from The Exorcist, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), The Fog, The Thing (1982), and Jaws form a narrative that illustrate the concept.

Terror in the Aisles was long out of print on VHS and Laserdisc. The expense of leasing the rights to each of these films (all from different studios) seemed cost prohibitive to ever believe it would be released again. Surprisingly, the film has turned up, in high definition no less!, as an extra on the Halloween II Blu Ray. It also appears to be headed for release on its own through Universal's On Demand service. The film will appeal to the same audience who enjoys watching trailers as much as the actual movies. It's a charming little oddity of film history that has finally surfaced from the sticky popcorn floor of obscurity.

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K is For

I have to admit that I am no fan of reality television. I don't like to watch idiots be rewarded with fame and fortune for being absolutely worthless leaches who contribute nothing to society. The whole trend started years ago with an MTV show called The Real World. The concept was pretty simple, though actually revolutionary for the time. Take 10 or so people who don't know each other, put them in a house together, and see what happens. The concept proved so successful that the show has lasted nearly 20 years. (I think it's still on.) It has also spawned numerous knock offs like Big Brother, and others I'm too lazy to Google.

Kolobos is an independent film made during the time period of this nascent genre. At the beginning of the film, the camera acts as the point of view of a woman who has been mutilated and traumatized. She is accidentally hit by a car and taken to the hospital. During her stay, she flashes back to the events that have brought her to this point.

Answering an ad in the newspaper for 5 outgoing actors, Kyra and others arrive at a large house that is wired for video and sound. Her and her new roommates will be allowed to do whatever they want, as long as they are filmed doing it. The house is filled with a bright alternative chick, a moping college guy, a B movie actress, and a failed comedian. During their first night at the house, it becomes apparent that things aren't going so well in Kyra's head. She is having hallucinations and hearing voices. Meanwhile, the others are watching a cheesy slasher flick starring our actress.

When they become bored with the film, fun alterna girl runs to the kitchen for a soda. Out of nowhere, she triggers a booby trap with ends up with her holding her entrails on the kitchen floor. The doors and windows suddenly become shuttered and the lights turn off. It seems that someone has a bigger show in store than they first thought. The group panics as they try to escape their entrapment. They dodge traps and a mysterious man who picks them off one at a time.

The film is an independent, i.e. low budget, but it actually manages some strong cinematography and plenty of gore. The acting, while not Oscar caliber, gets the job done. The biggest thing preventing this film from achieving any sort of success is the cover box. I passed by this DVD a hundred times because it looked like some late night Skinimax movie that might have a kill or two in it. Don't let that fool you. Kolobos is actually a pretty entertaining film.

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N is For...

The letter N brings us to one of the most bizarre, wretched films ever made. Nekromantik is a love story between a boy, a girl, and a corpse. That's right! A corpse. And not one of those "looks just like they were alive" corpses, either. It's a rotten, festering body. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning.

Once Upon A Time there was a man named Robert who had a job cleaning up dead bodies. On this particular day, Robert arrives at a car accident scene and begins to bag the dismembered limbs. Robert has a strange fetish, however, and keeps one of the bags for himself. After work, Robert takes the limb home to his girlfriend, who also happens to share his fetish. The two use the limb during their lovemaking and all is well.

A short time later, our hero is called to dispose of an entire corpse. The body, belonging to a murdered man, has been hidden in water for some time. The skin has turned black, and the body has nearly turned to mush. (Imagine the smell!) Our friend Robert has just hit his own jackpot. Rather than dispose of the body, he also brings it home to his girlfriend. Ecstatic, the two get it on. The girlfriend even goes so far as to break off a piece of a chair and plant it where the corpse's junk should be. She then rides the rotting body like a princess on a unicorn.

Things soon turn ugly in our magical kingdom, for Robert loses his job. It seems that his bosses don't appreciate Robert's unusual interests and can him. Upon hearing the news, Robert's girlfriend throws a fit and leaves him. She also takes the body that Robert has so lovingly brought her.

Depressed and angry, Robert gets drunk and kills a prostitute in a graveyard. He has sex with body and passes out next to it. Unfortunately, he is found by a gravedigger and is forced to murder him, as well. Unable to control his joy, Robert runs through the hills and skips.

He eventually returns home to the empty apartment. With no corpse and no girlfriend, Robert decides to make the ultimate sacrifice to his yearnings. (Warning: I'm about to give away the ending, so stop reading if you don't wanna know.) Robert lays on his bed and jams a knife into his own stomach. He becomes highly aroused and his massive erection (in full view) begins spewing jizz. As he fantasizes about all the death he has experienced, the semen turns to blood and our hero dies. The last scene presents Robert's headstone. Suddenly, a shovel stabs the ground; impaled by a woman's foot.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

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M is For...

One evening a few months ago, I walked into my local video store and asked for a crazy horror movie that was worth watching. Knowing my taste in movies, they handed me a French film called Martyrs. I had my ideas about what to expect. They were fucking wrong.

Martyrs begins with a punch to the gut. A young girl, Lucie, has just escaped from a slaughterhouse where she has been held and tortured for a year or so. She is found by police and assigned to an orphanage for disturbed youth. She has lost all communication abilities, and continues to inflict lacerations and other injuries upon herself. She experiences terrifying hallucinations and falls off the deep end. She makes one friend at the orphanage, Anna, and the two grow to adulthood together.

Fifteen years later, a suburban family sits down to breakfast. They laugh and talk about the day they have planned. Mom and Dad are amused by their son and daughter; they are typical siblings who have petty arguments designed to annoy each other. The doorbell rings and the smiling Dad goes to answer it. A shotgun blast instantly kills him; Lucie and Anna rush in and massacre the entire family. Having spent her entire life in fear, Lucie has reconciled the family's murder as her only means to escape her experiences. The audience begins to wonder if these really were the people that held Lucie, or if she has finally gone over the edge. The rest of the film takes a shocking turn that I don't want to give away.

Martyrs is a brutally disturbing film. There are visceral images displayed here in both shockingly graphic and jarringly blase fashion. There are ideas presented here that both rattle and offend. This is not a slasher film or a scary movie. It is a statement and declaration. If you can stomach the events portrayed here, then Martyrs should be high on your "to watch" list.

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Six Horror Trends That Should Vanish

Every few years, the horror genre undergoes a resurgence. Usually a film will come around that changes the rules and reinvents the way horror films are made. Then, the copy cat flood gates open. Every film released for a decade after will copy the gimmick and run it into the ground. The thing that made the first film groundbreaking soon becomes a fad, then a trend, then just damn annoying.

Here are six trends of recent horror films that need to scare themselves away in a hurry.

1. Found Footage Films


I'll admit that I liked Paranormal Activity the first time I saw it. Though it was repetitive, I liked the new take on the classic haunted house film. A lot of the effects were so simple, yet very effective. (The digital effects added once the film was purchased by a studio were another story...) Before the credits could even roll at the end of the film, a hundred other "found footage" movies began flooding the market. From the moment this film made money, other filmmakers took well tread stories and filmed them with shaky POV. Some have tried to pass themselves off as a documentary, but the concept is the same. Handle held cameras and bad zooming make the horror so much more "real." 

Why it Should Go:

It's been overdone. As of now, there are 3 (or is it 4? I lose count) Paranormal Activity films and a host of knock offs. The gimmick doesn't add to our enjoyment of the film, it distracts us. The shaking camera gives the audience a headache, and the long static shots just get boring. Not to mention, most of the reasons that are given for why the characters are filming in the first place are very contrived. Getting from point A to B in a narrative is a lot more difficult to pull off when someone is supposed to be running and filming at the same time.

2. The Jump Scare

You know this one. It's where the character is creeped out, thinking they see or hear something. So, they slowly walk towards the door that's ajar or the window to the back yard. Everything is quiet except for the low hum of the soundtrack when suddenly BAM! The cat jumps out, or the sink spits water, or a rat runs by, or anything at all that's not scary.

Why it Should Go:

For starters, it's over used. As in every horror film released in the past ten years has used this. Hell, maybe even the past 20 years. The biggest reason it should go, however, is because it's just effing lazy. Seriously, I just paid 10 bucks to get into the theater (or a dollar at redbox...ahem) and the only way you can scare me is by having a cat jump out? Come on. That's not real tension. That is the lowest common denominator in terror.

3. Trapped in the _____

Being trapped in a confined space with a ghost/killer/young child can be a great setup for a good horror film. It can also be a really lame premise for a ridiculously contrived movie. Be it an elevator, ATM booth, or store, spending too much time in one set can lose an audience fast. You start adding a number of characters, and you've got a lot of logistical (and narrative) problems piling up.



Why it Should Go:

The biggest problems with these types of films are the questions they pose to the audience. Why are all these people trapped here to begin with? Why don't they break a window? How come they can't all three run in different directions or tackle the guy in the coat? Why the hell am I still watching this? Usually, there aren't any decent answers to these questions. Just a bunch of dumb characters who probably deserve whatever fate becomes of them.

4. The Remake

If you've even glanced at this site, you know that we love horror films from the 1970's and 80's. They were daring and original. Or at least cheesy and entertaining. Hollywood has noticed audiences' love for those films, too. And they have remade damn near every one of them. Year after year, we are forced to sit through a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, or Halloween. While it's easy to blame Michael Bay for most of these disasters (his production company has helmed most of them lately)..... Yeah, let's just blame him. You suck, Michael Bay.

Why it Should Go:

I'm not against the idea of a remake. If someone can take old material and bring new life to it, then so be it. There are great remakes: The Thing, The Fly, even Savini's Night of the Living Dead. Unfortunately, for every good reboot, you get five terrible, uninspired pieces of garbage. While it's hard to defend the sequels to the original films, the first ones were driven by spirit and the desire to do something outside of the mainstream. All of these recent remakes come from the studios that own the rights to them and are being made simply to make money. The young rebellious directors who blazed their own trails with the originals have been discarded in favor of committee scripted music videos with pretty people in bright even lighting. They lack any sense of unique vision; relying solely on the gimmicks. Audiences will gladly watch new villains and franchises, if just given the chance.

5. Exorcism Films

In 1971, William Peter Blatty released his book, The Excorcist. Two years later, it was turned into what has been called "the scariest movie of all time." The film featured a young innocent girl who had been possessed by the devil. Her mother hires a priest, with demons of his own, to combat the evil. In the film, the daughter inflicts pain and violence upon herself, curses, and performs unnatural feats of strength.

The film was an instant success, causing several controversies and scaring the shit out of people at the same time. Of course, the inevitable sequels followed; though they never did as well as the first. For a number of years there were no other films released on the subject. Lately, however, there has been an explosion of them. Two new Exorcist sequels, The Last Exorcism, The Devil Inside, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Rite, etc have all popped up in the past ten years.

Why it Should Go:

Have you seen the Exorcist? Then why do you need to see any other exorcism film? The latter movies do nothing more than repeat they style of the Exorcist while retaining none of the substance. The characters in these films are one dimensional rather than the deeply troubled humans in the original. These recent additions rely on shock and jumps rather than anything psychological. If only the power of the box office could compel them to stop.

6. The Zombie Film

I'm not gonna lie. This one pains me to write. I love a good zombie film. Who doesn't? The problem is that there haven't really been any good zombie films released in a number of years. Even Romero's latest films have been lackluster.

Why it Should Go:

The genre is simply played out. In the 40 years since the original Night of the Living Dead, nearly every scenario involving people running from zombies has been done. We've seen them in the streets, in apartments, in hotels, on islands, yada, yada, yada. The parody films have been done. Hell, there's even a television show (which I still love.) Because they have been so successful in the past, studios are willing to snap up any piece of shit filmed by a guy with a decent camera, Party City makeup, and a couple of dumb ass friends.Each month, there are more and more low budget versions of these things that add nothing to the genre.  There just doesn't seem to be any new ground to cover. It's time to let the dead rest for a while.

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L is For...

The found footage/documentary style has taken hold of the horror genre in recent years. Films like Last Exorcism and The Devil Inside present their stories as if they were true; allowing bad camera work to suggest a documentary crew filmed the events.  If you think that this style is a new invention, then you've never seen Legend of Boggy Creek.

Released in 1972, Boggy Creek is a documentary about a Sasquatch stalking a small rural community.The filmmakers travel around the area, interviewing people who have had encounters with the beast, and re enacting several encounters. The film is based on actual reports from locals, many of whom play themselves in recreations.

Though it may have inspired films like Blair Witch Project, Boggy Creek is never once scary. In fact, the movie is down right comical. The people in the film have little to no acting experience, and their performances take on a wooden, though slightly surreal quality. The narrator of the film sounds like an old country fella who should be discussing the advantages of dry lures over wet ones. There is even a country folk song about the Sasquatch featured in the film.

Legend of Boggy Creek was a fairly big hit, especially at drive ins. One has to suspect that the film's success was more ironic than genuine. It was also probably a favorite of teens to make out to once they got over their case of the giggles. The movie spawned two sequels (one featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000) as well as a remake. If you need a break from heart pounding terror, check out Boggy Creek. I guarantee you'll visit again and again.

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I is for...

Director James Wan made a name for himself in horror films with the release of Saw. The high concept, blood filled film was an immediate hit and spawned a number of sequels. Afterwards, Wan made a couple of films that attempted to break free from the splatter and torture. One of his more successful attempts is our entry for I.

Insidious begins like a lot of films. A young couple buy a big house and move in with their children. The wife begins looking through photo albums and realizes there are no childhood pictures of her husband. One of the children, the young boy, complains about strange things happening in his bedroom. Initially laughed off as an overactive imagination, the boy's fears suddenly become reality when he slips into a coma. The couple rush him to the hospital, with no results. The wife soon begins experiencing frightening occurrences and becomes convinced that the house is haunted. With no other options, the couple abandon the house in favor of a new suburban life. They bring their son home, though his condition has not changed. Unfortunately for them, neither have the hauntings.

After a few more terrifying encounters, the family seeks help from spiritualists. They soon discover that the husband's childhood has a connection to what is happening to their son. The only way to save the child, they are told, is for the husband to travel the astral plane to reclaim the boy's soul.

Perhaps the most mainstream film highlighted this month, Insidious nevertheless provides some solid scares. The beginning of the film is filled with a mix of jump scares and subtle terror. Ghosts hide just out of view, alarms go off for no reason. Things jump from the shadows or appear in broad daylight. The last act of the film unfortunately changes directions and loses the fright factor the film worked so hard to earn. It abandons the realistic approach in favor of highly stylized visuals that pull the audience out of the movie. In any case, the beginning is enough to justify watching Insidious. You may wanna leave the lights on, while you do so.

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H is for...

Beginning with Black Christmas and Halloween, horror movies of the seventies and eighties took advantage of every holiday to unleash a serial killer. After using up the major ones, they moved on to other important dates: prom nights, graduations, of course first menstrual cycles.

After terrorizing Valentine's day, producers decided to take on birthdays. Happy Birthday to Me is the story of a group of students at Crawford Academy. While meeting for drinks at the local bar, one of the women is attacked and murdered in a parking lot. As the kids enjoy their beer, Virginia arrives late. The group soon starts a brawl with the locals and they rush to their cars. Full of machismo, the guys start a race towards the drawbridge, which is lifting. Virginia freaks out and runs home, to the confusion of her friends. It seems that Virginia has a few secrets...

Throughout the film, Virginia has flashbacks of a strange surgery she underwent. Memories of an accident that killed her mother begin surfacing, sending Virginia towards madness. At the same time, members of the group start disappearing. The kids seem mildly concerned, but continue with their daily lives. Meanwhile, Virginia undergoes psychiatric treatments with doctor Glenn Ford. As more and more students vanish, Virginia is convinced she is the killer.

Happy Birthday to Me is a strange little entry into the slasher genre. It's a bit slower moving than most, with the kills coming farther between than a Freddy or Jason film.When they happen, however, they are gory and memorable.(Just look at that cover!) In the original cut, the ending was blatantly obvious during the first few scenes. Producers subsequently changed the ending, resulting in a bit of a strange story structure. The change does make the film more interesting, setting it apart from some of the lower end killer flicks.

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F is for...

The letter F finds us reviewing one of the most controversial films in history. Upon its release, Freaks caused an uproar of outrage, broke a few box office records, and was even banned in some countries. (It was illegal to show the film for 30 years in England!)

After enjoying a number of successful silent films (many including Lon Chaney), director Tod Browning made one of the most iconic horror films of all time: Dracula. Along with the other Universal Monster films, Dracula helped create the horror genre. Studios began rushing to find more monsters, ghosts, and goblins to put on screen. Browning was offered several high budget pictures as follow ups, however he decided to stick to the horror genre. What he had in mind for his next film would be so grotesque that it ended his career.

Browning had worked in sideshows early on in his career and had wanted to bring that kind of story to the big screen for years. Harry Earles, a dwarf actor who had worked with Browning on a previous film, brought a short story to the director featuring a band of carnival actors and a bizarre love triangle. Browning immediately began developing it with Lon Chaney in mind. The actor died before preproduction could get very far. Browning eventually made the film and cast Earles as one of the leads.

The story is set in a small travelling circus in Europe. Devious trapeze artist Cleopatra has begun to win the affections of a pint sized performer named Hans. Hans begins spending more time and money on Cleopatra, much to the chagrin of his fiance Frieda. Eventually, Hans and Cleopatra marry. Do they live happily ever after? Of course not. What Hans does not realize is that Cleopatra has concocted the marriage as part of a scheme to kill him and inherit his money. Cleo and her lover Hercules plan to poison Hans and run away with his fortune. The other carnival actors discover the plan and take their revenge.

The plot of Freaks is a fairly typical one for thrillers of the time. The controversy stems from Browning's exploitation of actual circus freaks that appear in the picture. The director gathered many of the most famous human oddities of the time and paraded them around the screen in an effort to shock audiences. Film goers were sickened by the images, and one even attempted to sue after she miscarried during the film. (Whether it was legitimate or publicity stunt is up in the air.)

Nearly 100 years after the film's initial release, I believe Freaks takes on a different tone. As I watched the movie, I was struck not by the appearance of the freaks, but by their humanity. Apart from the villainous Cleopatra, the "normal" members of the circus treated the performers the same as each other. They joked around with the human skeleton, they complimented the pinheads, and they invented acts with the half boy. In 1932, the freaks appearance were meant to shock the viewers. Modern sensibilities, however, have us overlook those deformities and focus on the story. The performers are shown in their natural environment, going about their daily lives. They are shown coping with their handicaps, however it now feels more like championing than exploitation.  I believe the film shows the freaks' as the humans they truly are. If anyone here is treated with disdain, it is the "normal" characters of Cleo and Hercules.

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C is for...

There are some horror films that are meant to scare the crap out of you. There are those that are supposed to creep you out. Then, there are those that are just supposed to entertain you. Our third movie for the month is just such a film.

Chopping Mall takes us to the bastion of 80's capitalism: The Mall. A group of (30 year old) teenagers who are employed at the various shops decide to crash the furniture store over night for a wild party. Though they are totally different from each other, each is a stereotypical character. There's the sexy chick, the jock, the nerd, the average Joe, and the bookworm. The beer begins flowing and the clothes begin dropping as they test out the mattresses in said store.

Meanwhile, the mall's new security team is put into action for the first time. The robots prowl the stores, searching for robbers and bad guys. Each is equipped with a laser (because they like to party!) and claws, capable of death grips. Something goes wrong with their programming (as it always does) and their settings turn from "stun" to "kill." The teens soon find themselves running for their lives, though most are unsuccessful.

I am not going to sugar coat this or use kids gloves. Chopping Mall is one of my favorite movies of all time. It doesn't have the acting of The Godfather or the cinematography of Citizen Kane. It doesn't really pack a scare. What it does have is everything a cheesy 80's horror movie should. It's got a ridiculous plot, a kick ass title, boobs, and a girl's head exploding. If you don't want to watch it after reading that line, then this isn't the blog for you. You may find a scarier film to watch this Halloween season, but you won't find one nearly as much fun.

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First Look: Arrow Pilot

When the successful 10 year run of Smallville ended, the CW began a quest for their next superhero show. With the rights to Wonder Woman tied up with another network, execs initially began developing a series based on Dick Grayson's (aka Batman's Robin) early years. I suppose they realized what a terrible show that would be, and abandoned the concept. Shortly after, the channel announced their latest hero venture would be none other than The Green Arrow. The choice was a strange one, for several reasons that I'll get into later.



Well, what's it about?

In this version of the story, Stephen Amell stars as the young billionaire playboy Oliver Queen. During a cruise with his girlfriend's sister and his father, the ship is destroyed by a storm. Queen swims to shore and is stranded on a deserted island. He spends the next several years developing survival skills, aptitude with a bow and arrow, and his abs. Queen is eventually rescued by a fishing boat and brought back to his family in Star City. He is reunited with his mother, his best friend, and his ex girlfriend.

As the world rushes to greet Oliver, his friends notice a new found seriousness about him. (I guess they figured his years on the island would have just whetted his appetite for partying.) It turns out that Oliver is hiding a secret: his father had been involved in some pretty risky business and has charged Oliver with cleaning up his mess. As Oliver and his friend wander the city, they are abducted and held captive. It seems someone knows about his dad's misdeeds. Using his island martial arts, Queen breaks free of his attackers. He decides to avenge his father and clean up the streets of Star City. He takes on the costume of Robin Hood and begins taking from the wickedly wealthy.

So, how was the show?

Being a network show, especially one on the CW, the budget is a bit limited. With most of the money seemingly eaten up by a lavish party set near the end of episode, the director is forced to throw in some flashy camerawork to make up for the short comings of the previous 39 minutes. It's a valiant effort, however it comes across more as derivative of other action movies (i.e. the Bourne series) rather than something new.

Perhaps the most unforgivable accounting slight of hand comes with the Queen mansion. I was astounded to see that the producers had re used sets (changing them slightly) from the Luther mansion in Smallville. Other sets are also recycled during the episode. I understand the need for saving money, but don't reuse sets that will be so obvious to your target audience.

The acting here is pretty wooden most of the time. Amell appears to have been cast more for his physique than acting ability. During his boat scenes, he acts a little too childish for his age. The rest of the episode he does more than his share of scowling. The other actors turn in serviceable performances, considering the script they have to work with. There is lots of weighty dialogue and grand gestures with nothing to really back them up.

The choice of giving Green Arrow his own show is not, in and of itself, a strange choice. It's the fact that the producers chose to reboot the character rather than branch off from his Smallville version. Justin Hartley created a likeable enough character who may have been able to carry his own show for at least a couple of seasons. This could have given producers a reason to recycle sets and other elements from the show. It could also provide the opportunity to have characters from Smallville show up occasionally if the ratings start to slip.

If the network's goal was to go in a different direction and give the Green Arrow a fresh start, they probably should have waited a few more years to do it. Nothing in this episode is different enough from the Smallville counterpart to distinguish itself, at least in a favorable way. The tone of the show is supposed to be grittier and more serious than the previous incarnation, though I don't think it really works to the show's benefit. A dry sense of humor is part of the character's identity, and without it, he just comes off as quiet and smug.

Frankly, I'm surprised that the show was actually picked up based on this pilot. Don't get me wrong, the show isn't terrible. It's just nothing special. There's nothing here really drawing the audience in or making them want to to tune in again next week. Arrow definitely feels more like retread than refreshing.

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Horror A To Z

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B is for Blood Feast

C is for Chopping Mall

D is for Devil Times Five

E is for The Entity

F is for Freaks

G is for The Gate

H is for Happy Birthday to Me

I is for Insidious

J is for J.D.'s Revenge

K is for Killer Klowns From Outer Space

L is for Legend of Boggy Creek

M is for Martyrs

N is forNekromantic

O is for Opera

P is for Pumpkinhead

Q is for

R is for Re-Animator

S is for Straight Jacket

T is for Trick R Treat

U is for

V is for The Vanishing

W is for Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

X is for

Y is for

Z is for

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Top Five Overrated Horror Films

The Omen


The Amityville Horror

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Top 31 Horror Films

Halloween

The Shining

Night of the Living Dead

Nightmare on Elm Street

Poltergeist

Evil Dead 2

Return of the Living Dead

Creepshow

Bubba Hotep

Friday the 13th

The Exorcist

Dawn of the Dead

The Lost Boys

The Fog

The Thing

Let The Right One In

Dead and Buried

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

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John Carpenter: The Sound of Horror

John Carpenter is not only a master director, he is a musical genius as well. Nearly ever film he has made has been scored by himself (usually under a pseudonym.) The music is usually simple, though it causes a shiver to run down your spine. Here are some of my favorite pieces of music from Carpenter's films.

The Fog: Matthew Ghost Story

From the opening scene, The Fog is presented as a ghost story come to life. An old sailor scares children sitting around a camp fire with the tale of vengeful spirits haunting the mist that is closing in on the small town. The music in this film is understated and gets under the skin. It is designed to unsettle rather than to shock. Using mainly a slow moody piano, the soundtrack is mournful. It sets the tone of the film perfectly. One of the creepiest scores I've ever heard.

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