C is for...

There are some horror films that are meant to scare the crap out of you. There are those that are supposed to creep you out. Then, there are those that are just supposed to entertain you. Our third movie for the month is just such a film.

Chopping Mall takes us to the bastion of 80's capitalism: The Mall. A group of (30 year old) teenagers who are employed at the various shops decide to crash the furniture store over night for a wild party. Though they are totally different from each other, each is a stereotypical character. There's the sexy chick, the jock, the nerd, the average Joe, and the bookworm. The beer begins flowing and the clothes begin dropping as they test out the mattresses in said store.

Meanwhile, the mall's new security team is put into action for the first time. The robots prowl the stores, searching for robbers and bad guys. Each is equipped with a laser (because they like to party!) and claws, capable of death grips. Something goes wrong with their programming (as it always does) and their settings turn from "stun" to "kill." The teens soon find themselves running for their lives, though most are unsuccessful.

I am not going to sugar coat this or use kids gloves. Chopping Mall is one of my favorite movies of all time. It doesn't have the acting of The Godfather or the cinematography of Citizen Kane. It doesn't really pack a scare. What it does have is everything a cheesy 80's horror movie should. It's got a ridiculous plot, a kick ass title, boobs, and a girl's head exploding. If you don't want to watch it after reading that line, then this isn't the blog for you. You may find a scarier film to watch this Halloween season, but you won't find one nearly as much fun.

Posted in: Chopping Mall,Horror,Horror A To Z