N is For...

The letter N brings us to one of the most bizarre, wretched films ever made. Nekromantik is a love story between a boy, a girl, and a corpse. That's right! A corpse. And not one of those "looks just like they were alive" corpses, either. It's a rotten, festering body. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning.

Once Upon A Time there was a man named Robert who had a job cleaning up dead bodies. On this particular day, Robert arrives at a car accident scene and begins to bag the dismembered limbs. Robert has a strange fetish, however, and keeps one of the bags for himself. After work, Robert takes the limb home to his girlfriend, who also happens to share his fetish. The two use the limb during their lovemaking and all is well.

A short time later, our hero is called to dispose of an entire corpse. The body, belonging to a murdered man, has been hidden in water for some time. The skin has turned black, and the body has nearly turned to mush. (Imagine the smell!) Our friend Robert has just hit his own jackpot. Rather than dispose of the body, he also brings it home to his girlfriend. Ecstatic, the two get it on. The girlfriend even goes so far as to break off a piece of a chair and plant it where the corpse's junk should be. She then rides the rotting body like a princess on a unicorn.

Things soon turn ugly in our magical kingdom, for Robert loses his job. It seems that his bosses don't appreciate Robert's unusual interests and can him. Upon hearing the news, Robert's girlfriend throws a fit and leaves him. She also takes the body that Robert has so lovingly brought her.

Depressed and angry, Robert gets drunk and kills a prostitute in a graveyard. He has sex with body and passes out next to it. Unfortunately, he is found by a gravedigger and is forced to murder him, as well. Unable to control his joy, Robert runs through the hills and skips.

He eventually returns home to the empty apartment. With no corpse and no girlfriend, Robert decides to make the ultimate sacrifice to his yearnings. (Warning: I'm about to give away the ending, so stop reading if you don't wanna know.) Robert lays on his bed and jams a knife into his own stomach. He becomes highly aroused and his massive erection (in full view) begins spewing jizz. As he fantasizes about all the death he has experienced, the semen turns to blood and our hero dies. The last scene presents Robert's headstone. Suddenly, a shovel stabs the ground; impaled by a woman's foot.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Posted in: Horror,Horror A To Z,nekromantik